Hi mum I know you would want us all to celebrate Christmas but I feel that I can’t as without you it won’t be the same, I just want you here with us. I am feeling very lonely without you missing the days that we spent together there’s day where I can’t be botherd and I just want you here with me. I am going to try and get some sleep now, most nights I still can’t sleep properly I still lay in my bed wide awake. I will be up at cementry this Saturday after I have a look at some nice flowers for you. Love you mum so much xxxxx